If Youre The Receiving Partner
Youll want to be as relaxed and aroused as possible, because itll make the experience easier and more enjoyable.
The whole poop-comes-out-of-the-butt thing gives some people a case of the heebie-jeebies even when its their own butt.
Remedy this by taking a shower and paying a little extra attention back there to get it squeaky clean. Some people like to use an enema before engaging in butt play, but it isnt necessary.
Use the bathroom before getting started. Prostate stimulation can make you feel like you need to pee, and anal penetration can cause the sensation of needing to poop.
Even though you wont actually do either, worrying that you might can interfere with your ability to let go and enjoy yourself. Knowing your bladder and bowels are empty can help.
Getting used to the sensation of having your prostate touched can help, too. Practice with an anal sex toy, like a butt plug, or your fingers.
Be sure to set the mood so that youre turned on and primed for action. Light candles, watch porn, or engage in some good old-fashioned masturbation or foreplay to get there.
Finally, be sure to lube up real good. Applying a water-based lubricant will allow for easier penetration and make for some easy gliding if stimulating your prostate externally.
Ok So Is Prostate Stuff Actually Just Anal
Though prostate stimulation and anal sex can both involve anal penetration, the two sex acts are totally different. Internal prostate stimulation takes a softer touch and involves more precise movements and smaller implements, such as fingers or small toys, rather than dildos or penises. Because a penis or dildo doesnt have as much range of motion as smaller toys or fingers do, its difficult to effectively massage the prostate with them.
What might not feel as different between the two is the stigma some people feel about sexual pleasure that involves their butts. Many prostate owners feel self-conscious and/or shame about exploring prostate play, said Todd Baratz, a sex therapist and sexual wellness expert at Arcwave. Many men internalize the idea that it’s feminine to play a receptive penetrative role since they grew up learning that the receptive partner is female and therefore feel shame when assuming a receptive position. While undoing these stigmas and unhelpful beliefs can be a real challenge to prostate rookies, Barartz offered this advice: “Try to remember that youre plugging into outdated gender and sexual scripts that preclude your pleasure. They are also incongruent with your desires, if P-spot pleasure is what you seek.
Okay Exactly What And Where Is The Prostate
The prostate is a walnut-size gland nestled deep inside the male pelvis, and it helps produce semen and nourish it with important substances, Hong, M.D., a urologist in Phoenix, tells SELF. Cisgender women dont have prostates. But for the folks who do have them, the prostate is made up of tissue known as stroma, secretory glands that produce semen ingredients, and muscle fibers. Its located right in front of the bladderthe ducts in the prostate gland actually flow into the urethra, which is why prostate issues can affect urinary function. For example, if someone has an enlarged prostate , they might find that they have a more frequent urge to pee, among other symptoms, the Mayo Clinic explains.
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Is It Hard To Achieve A Prostate Orgasm
As Lehmiller notes, there is limited research on prostate orgasms, so personal experimentation is important.
That trial and error process can be time-consuming. Some prostate owners achieve the big O on the first go-around, while others have to have a bit of practice before finding what works, Saynt says. It also doesnt help that some prostate owners feel ashamed or less manly when partaking prostate play: The internalized shame and feelings of inadequacy could cause mental blocks which prevent the free release of the natural sex drugs our brains release when we are at our most heightened sense of pleasure,” he says. “This fear is a trauma which many men will never get past, making enjoyable and healthy practices like prostate orgasm impossible.
Thus, its important for partnersespecially vulva-ownersto be supportive. If you’re helping your partner achieve a prostate orgasm for the first time, take it slow dont use toys or fingers until your partner is ready, and have frequent conversations with your partner about what they do and do not like. You can even ask them to demonstrate how they masturbate with their prostate.
How Do You Achieve A Prostate Orgasm
As with any new sexual activity, learning how to have a prostate orgasm takes preparation and practice. Here are some expert-approved tips, techniques, and other important things to know.
Learn where your prostate is.
If youre new to anal play, the first step is finding your prostate. The walnut-sized gland is located underneath the bladder and in front of the rectum, and you can stimulate it by putting fingers or toys about three inches into your butt.
Try it on your own first.
Kenneth Play, sex educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series, suggests experimenting with yourself before trying with your partner. I recommend masturbation rather than partner play to start this exploration because you have a direct feedback loop,” he says. “Without having to instruct someone else or worry about being comfortable, things are much simpler and more effective.”
Know that there are two ways to achieve a prostate orgasm: through internal and external stimulation.
Now, we know you might be scratching your head in confusion, wondering how there can be an external prostate orgasm when the prostate is located inside your anus. But heres a quick bio lesson: an external prostate orgasm is when you stimulate your prostate externally, by applying pressure between your anus and your testicles, Saynt explains . No insertion required.
Internal orgasms, on the other hand, involve massaging your prostate .
Massage your perineum.
If you’re going up the butt, clean out beforehand.
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Prostate Massage In A Medical Setting
Some studies have examined prostate massage in a medical context as a treatment for an enlarged prostate. A study published in Medscape General Medicine , looked at five men who were suffering from urinary retention because of an enlarged prostate. All underwent repetitive prostate massage as an alternative to having their prostates removed. All fivewho were wearing catheters at the beginning of the studyregained the ability to urinate, were able to have the tubes removed and avoided surgery. Several studies also describe prostate massage being used as a treatment for chronic prostatitis. One study published in the journal Urology found that it was ineffective. Another study conducted by UCLA Medical Center and the Institute of Male Urology in Los Angeles looked at 73 men with chronic prostatitis, who were treated with antibiotics and regular prostate massage by urologists. Forty percent of them saw their symptoms resolve completely, and 21 percent experienced some improvement. So clearly prostate massage isnt a magic bullet for prostatitis, and more research is needed. There are anecdotal cases of doctors recommending it, but youre unlikely to get a prescription for it. But in terms of the health benefits of regular ejaculation, the science is pretty conclusive that its beneficial more on that in a moment.
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Holy Shit This Feels Amazing Now How Can I Get A Partner Involved
Trying prostate play with a partner can be a vulnerable, intimate bonding experience. Plus, a partner can often go deeper, explore different angles, and try out positions that might not be possible during solo prostate action.
You can try any positions or motions that work for masturbation with a partner, though if youre just starting out, its best to start simply. I have personally always found that having someone lie on their back and me sliding a finger inside while pressing up towards the root of the penis is the most effective way, DeGrey said. Toys are going to complicate things more in the beginning. People can certainly upgrade to toys, but for your first time out, stick with fingers. They’re cheaper, and you already have 10 of them.
If youre the person giving the massage , its important to pay attention to body cues. Obviously enthusiastic vocalizations and words are helpful in expressing likes and dislikes, but if someone is less vocal, look to other nonverbal signs. Are their eyes closed or open? Is their breathing fast or slow? Are their muscles tense or relaxed? Are they pushing into you or are they pulling away from you? All of that is communication. All of that is feedback, DeGrey advised.
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How Do You Prepare To Give A Prostate Massage
When it comes to sex, there are two kinds of safety: physical and psychological. Psychological safety starts with permission, Hong explains. Prostate stimulation is not something you surprise withit takes some preparing, Lexx Brown-James, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., tells SELF. That means bringing it up verbally before getting down to business. A simple You know, theres something Ive been really excited about trying… can help start the conversation, Brown-James says.
If you and your partner both agree to try it, youll also need to account for physical safetywhich boils down to avoiding anal trauma. So it might be helpful to learn a few best practices before you talk to your partner, TBH. This way you can discuss any concerns they or you might have.
The first step in safe prostate play is washing your hands with good old soap and water. You can use these handy instructions from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention . As you probably know from the new coronavirus pandemic, keeping your hands clean is one way to avoid spreading germs on your hands to the eyes, nose, or mouth. Its also a good time to mention that you dont need any special antibacterial soap for this. As SELF has previously reported, tried-and-true hand soap will do the trick.
Does Prostate Milking Hurt
You may feel a little discomfort initially, especially if you are not used to anal play.
However, milking should never hurt, and those initial feelings of discomfort should subside once you are more relaxed and able to focus on the pleasurable feelings.
As a side note, only 8.3 percent of 154 men in one study did find that massaging the prostate with a prostate massage device did report some rectal soreness after the fact.
As long as you are gentle, move slowly, and stick to a few ground rules, you should be fine.
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What Is Prostate Massage Therapy
Prostate massage therapy is the practice of massaging the male prostate either for medical or therapeutic reasons.
Prostate massage therapy is the application of either external or internal massage to the prostate for the purpose of
- enhancing blood flow
- improving urinary flow
- helping maintain the integrity of the prostate tissue.
The use of prostate massage therapy is anecdotally supported for a range of conditions and is generally used before a urine test such as PCA3. Some of these conditions include benign prostatic hyperplasia , erectile dysfunction, and prostatitis.
With A Massager Strap
If youre playing with sex toys, you can really mix it up by playing with the different vibration settings, as well as pressure and depth.
- Pressure. Controlling pressure when using a toy is easier, especially when youre playing solo. Try pressing the toy against the prostate using more or less pressure till you find your sweet spot.
- Depth. Depth is another area where toys win out since reaching can make it hard to go deep, if thats what you crave. Try different sized anal toys or get a longer one that you can insert as deep as your bottom desires.
- Vibrations. You can buy prostate massagers that offer up multiple speed and pulse settings. Play with the different settings to find your preference. Up the vibes as you get closer to orgasm.
- Sensation. Some prostate massagers have an attached external stimulator to give your perineum some sweet lovin while the other end penetrates. Who doesnt love a hard worker?
Want a little more?
If your partner has a penis, you can kick things up a notch with penis-in-anus penetration. Prostate stimulation for you, penile stimulation for them and a happy ending for you both.
Different positions can make reaching and pleasuring the prostate easier. These positions work for external and internal prostate stimulation, alone and with a partner.
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Prostate Milking At Home
By | Submitted On May 17, 2010
Doing prostate milking alone at home demands practice. It is not difficult at all. You just need an ample time to get familiar with the steps, and you are on your way to reaching your first prostate orgasm. You do not actually need a partner to achieve the pleasurable orgasm by stimulating this prostate gland. The key to this bliss is practice.
There are numerous claims regarding the sensations of prostate milking. Most of them would say that it is very intense. Some men would even say that it is equivalent to women’s multiple orgasm. The feelings might be much more intense because of the simple idea that you are touching a body area that is deemed to be taboo.
If you are feeling uneasy with idea of playing with your anus, it does not mean that you have to let go of prostate milking. There is a tool that you can use to avoid your fingers from touching the insides of your butt. This tool is called prostate massager. It is designed to reach your prostate and give it a fantastic massage. It can even provide pleasurable sensations to your perineum as an added factor.
If you have stubby fingers, or you easily get strained with your prostate milking position, it is best to make use of a prostate massager. In this manner, you may even avoid injuring yourself or straining your muscles. An added tool would be a lubricant. This will ease the tension in your anus, allowing the prostate milking to be easily executed.
Conditions Prostate Massage Might Help
Although studies are limited, prostate massage may be helpful in some medical situations and with some health conditions.
A doctor might do a prostate massage to diagnose the condition. They can test the fluid that comes from your prostate ducts to see whatâs causing the problem.
Although the most common treatments for prostatitis are antibiotics and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs , prostate massage is another option. It can help ease pressure and swelling by releasing fluids that build up in the prostate. Small studies have found that massaging the area several times a week — along with taking antibiotics — can give relief from pain and pressure.
Diagnosing a Medical Condition
Sometimes a doctor might do a prostate massage during a prostate exam. The purpose is to get some fluid to examine under a microscope to look for signs of an infection or other problem.
The main treatments for erectile dysfunction include medications, pumps, shots, and implants. Lifestyle changes that can help treat the condition include getting more exercise, eating a healthy diet, and doing pelvic floor exercises. Some men say they’ve had increased sexual pleasure and are able to ejaculate more easily with prostate massage, though there isnât scientific proof to back up those claims.
Who Can Do It
Anyone can milk the prostate however, only those born with male anatomy have a prostate to milk. You can use your fingers or specially designed toys or, of course, the real thing however, I prefer toys, strap-ons, or the real thing because plenty can go wrong with finger play. These include the multi-faceted joints of your fingers, the potential for long or jagged nails, and the potentially weird angles of insertion, which can lead to localized injury. That said, if you and/or your partner have recently gotten a manicure and are experienced with fingering, you can proceed.
To Complete Self Prostate Milking You Need To:
1. Pay a visit to the bathroom. You need to have your bowels and gladder emptied before the procedure. Many doctors skip this part. Thats why you need to have this in mind.
2. Check your nails. You do not want to have any edges on it because this will harm the gentle area there.
3. Cleaning is one of essential part of the procedure. You need to take a shower and wash your entire body really well.
In addition, before you start the procedure, wash your hands perfectly with Hibiscrub or Hibitan .
You need to find a latex glove to use. Also, using lubricants is a good idea.
4. The lubricants will let your finger enter your anus gentler. You will not feel any pain, if you do it slowly. If you rush, you risk feeling pain.
5. Once you enter your anus, do not anything at first. Get used to the feeling and your muscles will be relaxed after 1 or 2 minutes.
After that you need to search for your prostate gland. It is located on the surface towards your belly. It is a round bulb. It is important to feel it. Take your time to examine the surface.
6. After you find the gland, you need to start massaging it slowly and gently. Do not rub the gland too fast because you will hurt yourself.
7. After some time of massaging, it is most likely for you to ejaculate. You do not worry because this is the normal result from self prostate milking.
You expect to ejaculate after you complete the procedure. However, not every time this is result is achieved. So you need to be patient.
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